Let’s talk about glue. Hoarders love glue. Glue is the reason for keeping broken things. If you have glue then you have the possibility of fixing things. Glue is the new hope. Glue is a rationale, a reason. It allows you to fill up the holes in your life with stuff to make you forget you have a hole. It is a longwinded way of avoiding the hole. The hoarder doesn’t really want to do the hard work of fixing the hole the right way, the correct way, the healthy way. This is why the hoarder fills the hole with broken stuff and then buys lots of glue and collects elastic bands and other similar detritus. This stuff gives the hoarder a reason, an argument, for why they need the glue and string and elastic bands: to fix the other stuff that is broken. The hoarder will rarely fix anything because once it is fixed then it’s a lost reason for collecting the stuff to fill the hole. The more broken things there are=the more tools for fixing that can be acquired= the more stuff there is to keep you from falling into the big black hole.
The Glue Pitcher
All glue goes into the pitcher. Do not touch the glue in the pitcher. If you do, you will mess up how it's organized causing severe stress on the hoarder. The pitcher is like a goldfish bowl, only for looking into at the pretty containers of glue.
I touched the glue anyhow, causing some subterranean strife but I was left alone after assuring her that I would not use the glue and would put it back after the photo session. (She rearranged it after I put it back because I didn't do it right, but she wasn't mad and seemed happy to have something to organize.)
Notice that the glue is all brand new. Only the Loctite Household Cement has been used. I'm not sure who used it. Maybe my brother. I'm also wondering where all the old glue is. I can't seem to find it anywhere. Maybe there was some sort of glue accident and it had to be thrown out which is why there is so much recent glue acquisition activity. Remember the box that came the other day with the red ice cream scoop? There was some U Glu in there. I bet she gets more glue over the next few weeks.
"Do you need any fabric?"
ReplyDeleteThat's the question my mother asks every time we talk on the phone, even though I've never answered yes. "No?" she sighs, "your sister Sheila says she doesn't, either." (As if this were, one, a lie and, two, a Lear-scale betrayal.)
Not all hoarding moms love glue, but that takes nothing away from your post. By the transitive property of hoarding, my mom will get more fabric before the equinox. Unlike you, I'm beset by fears that this is hereditary, as I believe is my youngest sister Brigit, who has the energy to be a neat-freak--my main goal in life.
Dear MM,
ReplyDeleteI definitely think it's hereditary. I am cursed with the innate drive to collect things too. This is only kept at bay by my rational self which gets sick of the clutter that must be organized and cleaned. Staying with my Mom for a few weeks, as I am now, is also a good cure-all.
I bet your Mom has some nice fabric. My Mom has fabric too. She likes to buy it at tag sales and the craft store because "it was such a bargain!"
I know that my Mom feels like she is expressing her love for me when she gives me some of her stuff. I almost always accept it. I sometimes wish my Mom could express love in other ways, but I don't think she's going to change.
Maybe you can find a way to accept the fabric and find a charity that can use it for good? (I know, I know, she'll be totally offended when she finds out you don't have it anymore.) In our family we tend to just make fun of each other when things get extreme -- it helps the hoarder relax and also feel that we love her anyhow.
I hope you and your siblings can find a way to make peace with your Mom.
Peace & Joy,
Susan
Everyone,
ReplyDeleteMy son and I have uncovered another stash of glue. I knew there was more.
Happy fixing!
Susan